


sidewalks we crossed

by I_wrote_my_own_deliverance



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dead Tony Stark, Depressed Peter Parker, Other, Peter Parker - Freeform, Sad Peter Parker, i hate endgame, its vent time, peter deals with endgame, peter deals with tony's death, quick vent, sad feels, spiderman - Freeform, tony stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28728219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_wrote_my_own_deliverance/pseuds/I_wrote_my_own_deliverance
Summary: And I just can't imagine how I could be so okay now that you're gone......because you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	sidewalks we crossed

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever get over endgame? no. will i ever stop using peter as a vent space? also no.
> 
> inspired by driver's license by olivia rodrigo

Peter hates driving. 

Really, really hates it. 

Driving is a nightmare. Driving in New York is even worse. 

Driving the Audi Tony left him is like turning the steering wheel of a cemetery. 

The only time he drives is at night, when he can’t sleep. When his brain won’t quiet with sounds of the screams of the dying and explosions that throw monsters into energy fields on the battlefield of the old Avengers compound. 

He doesn’t like to admit it, but driving makes him feel closer to Tony. 

That car- that stupid,  _ stupid  _ car- that overly expensive car, the one that sits in the parking garage because Peter can’t even fucking look at it. 

He hates it. 

(Maybe what he really hates is what it represents.)

But he drives it. At night, alone, when the city has fallen into a semi-quiet state, when he can’t put on the suit without feeling like he is choking on dust and debris and the feeling of an arc reactor flickering out. 

He probably shouldn’t drive in this state. The one that blurs red lights and stop signs and cars and sidewalks into a mesmerizing kaleidoscope of tears. 

Because he can still see Tony’s face around every corner. He can still hear his laugh over the clattering of tools in the lab. 

See the light fade out of his eyes. 

He drives, alone, past Delmar’s, past the Staten Island ferries, past the old, abandoned Avengers tower. 

And sometimes-  _ sometimes _ , when he really wants to torture himself, because  _ he can’t let go _ \- he drives out of the city. Down the back roads. 

To the old Avenger’s compound. 

It’s just a crater now. A decimated angry slash in the earth, a pit that seems to suck every part of his soul into. 

He sits and he stares without seeing. 

He sits and watches Mr. Stark- _ because the only time he called him Tony was when the life faded out of him _ \- watches the memories of walking through the compound and the tower, laughing and smiling and cracking jokes, rolling his eyes at Pepper, calling Peter Underoos and helping him mix up vials of web fluid. 

He hears that laugh in the traffic as he finally drives away, feels the grip of his mentor’s hand on his shoulder while his own hand holds the steering wheel knuckle-white, sees the glint of sunglasses in headlights of passing cars. 

He drives past Avengers tower, resists the urge to put the car through the front doors, refuses to look at Coney Island and the place where he crashed Tony’s plane. 

And he puts the car-  _ the car, the car, the stupid fucking car _ \- back in the parking garage, locks it and doesn’t look back. 

He doesn’t have to. He knows Tony is leaning against it, watching him walk away. 

………………………….

_ I just can’t imagine how I could be so okay now that you’re gone… _

_...because you said forever, now I drive alone past your street.  _


End file.
